Tomorrow Sam and I are heading to NYC for a week full of doctor appointments, leading up to my 4th surgery for Endometriosis on July 26th. When I started having symptoms at 11 I never would have imagined it turning into a lifelong struggle with multiple surgeries. Lately I’ve been grumpy heading into this surgery, angry to even have this disease. Angry to need another invasive surgery. Angry to even have to endure this again. This morning as friends prayed over me, one said thank you to God for providing an answer to our prayers by providing my Endo team in NYC. Instantly my angry viewpoint melted away.
The last three surgeries left me in more pain than before, and for the past 4 or so years we’ve been praying for a cure. Though scientists are making progress, a cure is still decades away. However, about a year ago we started praying and searching for a new doctor. In April we went to NYC to meet with Dr.Seckin, a world re-known Endometriosis Specialist. At that appointment we learned that adhesions and lesions are completely covering and tangling my organs together, so much so that my uterus is being titled (or glued) to the point of almost sitting on my spine. My pain levels have been 8-10 every day for the past year, so that would explain why. I’ve learned a new internal strength I didn’t know I even held, trying my best to not let it hold me back from life. But I’m exhausted and I’ve hit my breaking point 11 months ago. All this to say: I will not be angry anymore. It’s okay and healthy (to a point) to be angry at a disease that’s disrupting your or a loved ones life, but it’s a sticky place to let yourself sit in that anger. It’s a lonely place to sit in that anger.
I’m declaring that this week I’ll go forward confidently that God has provided this talented team of specialists to heal my body. This week I’ll go forward knowing that it will be hard, painful, and at times I will still feel furious towards this ruthless disease. I might get angry again. But I will rest in knowing that God has not and will not forget me. I will rest in knowing that He wouldn’t have provided this team without knowing how my life might change a year from now, what’s the healing has commenced.
I’m humbled going into this week, that God’s answer to this prayer is bigger than I could have known. It isn’t a cure, but we are able to travel to NYC for 11 days. During those days I’ll have an MRI, 2 pre-op’s and then a 6-8hr surgery with a gallery with 4+ specialists. I’ve lost count of how many will either be in the room, or on standby to join if they’re needed. To have found an Endometriosis Specialist who has a team already built for pain management, spine, lungs, bowel and other organs is just amazing. Then back at home is my sweet mother-in-law watching Mac so our minds can be at ease knowing that she’s safe and loved while we can’t be there. There’s our church family surrounding us in prayer and support, reaching out to offer all the help that they can give. This surgery and everything surrounding it is bigger than us. It’s all God and we are beyond blessed.
Thank you all for your prayers, words of encouragement and help. It means a lot to us.